Mortal Instruments Fall out After Heavenly Fire
by LdyJulanna
Summary: Clary and Jocelyn are butting heads over Jace ...Will clary ever be able to make her See that they have a truely tangible connection? or will she be forced to choose between them? Does she really even have a choice ?
1. Chapter 1

This is My thoughts on what might happen after city of heavenly fire. I have never attempted Fanfiction before myself though I do enjoy it. please excuse any spelling mistakes or puctuation, I will do my best to correct any but it is not my strong suit this story is rated M for coming chapters Please read review send me your thought's input most welcome thanx :) ^v^ Ldy J. ^v^

Six months after Jocelyn's wedding

Jace walking down the road toward Clary's house. He had some time off from the institute today just a little bit and he decided to stop by Clary's they had been spending as much time as they could to gather since the wedding. Not as much as Jace would have liked however, with all that happened in the dark war with a lot of orphaned children who also parents and the decimated ranks of the shadow hunters the whole gang had been very busy trying to help out with training and or repair and basically picking up the pieces left behind by the fallout of the dark war.

Today though just did manage to get a few hours away that he could spend with Clary so he found himself on his way to her house thinking about the last time they were really together and non serious manner it was when she'd give them the Herondale ring.

That was the wonderful night Clary got Simon back and he had actually joked with her about being Clary Herondale he couldn't even believe he actually said it not out loud. She'd made a joke of it , at the time so had he. That got him wandering thinking about their wonderful time even though it was in a demon realm in the cave by that water. what would it really be like to have Clary for his wife for them to really live together? In the Herondale Manor to wake up to her every morning and to go to sleep with her every night. To not have to go to another house to see her? The mere thought gives him the warm and fuzzy.

As he walks down the street he thinks to himself. _I know it eventually it's going to happen. I know there's no way I could ever marry another woman. I also knows that no matter what's in my heart at the moment logically speaking They're still too young for marriage at least in the eyes of the clave. They both have at least another year they would have to wait and that doesn't even consider Jocelyn. For no matter what I try to do, how polite and respectful I am, I always get the feeling that Jocelyn hates and or if not hates me personally despises the idea that I'm with her daughter._

_When Jocelyn's first woke from the coma, and she was frosty toward me. I thought maybe it was because everyone thought I was her half demon son Jonathan Christopher. Ihat I almost could've understood but now, it's been made clear I'm not Jonathan Christopher destroyer of all things good_.

_I am Jace Herondale/Lightwood,no mater clave my heart of hearts I shall always be a lightwood . I have tried to prove many a times. That though I was raised by her evil ex husband I care about my duty to the clave. As a shadow hunter I have shown my loyalty. I would sacrifice Myself for the life of her daughter. For the lives in any one in Idris. Yet when I'm with Clary and Jocelyn's there I can't shake the feeling that she very much disapproves_.

_Clary's tells me not to take it personally that she's just once again being an overprotective mother and is having trouble with her and Jace relationship because of their ages and it reminds her of how she felt about Valentine .So, Clary says she's projecting. _As Jace feet carry him further and further towards Clary's house he begins to contemplate how he can go about winning Jocelyn over

He thinks._ maybe I'll enlist the help of Simon and Luke after all simon's been Clary's best friend since they were in kindergarten and Jocelyn's seem to like him really well. As I hear muffled voices raised in anger sounds like an argument I recognizes Clary's voice but can't really make out what's being said. Just as I'm about to put my hand on the door to knock I hear my name._

" Mother that's not fair what you mean I shouldn't see as much of Jace? how can you say that?" Jace heard Clary saying and he froze with his hand almost on the door.

" Don't tell me after everything you still have a problem with Jace!"

Jace couldn't quite make out the reply.

_But since he heard his name he desided to listen for a minute this might give an insight into why Jocelyn is so frosty and how he might be able to fix it. Filling just a little guilty Jace start inscribing a hearing rune on his arm._

" Now wait a minute Clary listen" Jocelyn started to say, to the outrage looked on Clary's face " I will not listen to any more mother, is this why you found excuses for me not to go to the institute for the last three days because you still have a problem with Jace?!" Clary asked an outraged tone. Jocelyn's just looked at her as if trying to think how to word her answer. " no Clary that's not it well not all of it not exactly it's just-"

Clary made is sound of exasperation, " it's just what mom what? What is it that he's done that's so bad now? besides, I don't know help save the world he's not half demon he's not my brother he's a good person he risked his life without a second thought , risked his life when he barely knew me to protect me to protect Simon to rescue Simon can you please tell me what is so bad about Jace Herondale? When all he's done ever show me is love and kindness and been caring person"

" Clary that's just it he shouldn't have had to have almost given up his life for you or saved Simon, I never wanted that for you I never wanted any of this for you look at you covered in runic scars and all you wanna do is get back to the institute and learn and train since you met Jace your life has been in danger who knows how many times for sure how do you expect me not to feel? I'm your mother and it seems the more you're with Jace the more risk you put yourself. All I ever wanted and for you was a normal safe life and you had that before meeting Jace I guess I was hoping that with the major danger passed you might consider easing up on the shadow hunter stuff and enjoying some of the things that you wanted to do before all this."

I sat there for a minute and thought what to say I thought we'd moved past this, I mean sense I know about the shadow world and no longer have a blocked memory not to mention It was my special abilities with runes that saved lives and we fought and defeated my father I thought we established how things were then as she need not be so overbearing overprotective. I guess I was wrong.

" okay first, you seem to be forgetting when I knew nothing of the shadow world of demons and the dangerous people came after us you were in a coma and there was a demon in our apartment that thanks to the fact you kept me ignorant of the shadow world the demon would have killed me had it not been for Jace. In fact if anything you endangered me it was my lack of knowledge in general not to mention the risk to Simon. Jace did nothing ,except try to help me in fact he helped me help you were it not for the risks he took and the things that he taught me you'd still be in a coma and yet you can't be nice to him I really don't understand that he's not my brother he's not my father he tried to kill Valentine. Number two, you think that just because the major threat is over for now, that I'm going to what forget everything go back to school? go on a field trip eat in the cafeteria take the gym and forget about everything about the demons about the land and what you want me to forget about Jace? Find some little mundane high school boy go to a dance pretend I don't know what I know I don't feel what I feel? I can't I won't."

" Clary I-I just remember how much fun you had you and Simon all the plans you made in the band's you are taking art lessons you and Simon were going to travel see the world do normal things you went to the movies you watch TV you had fun you weren't constantly killing now you don't even draw unless it's a rune I know you are mad at me for the memory block but I told you before and I'll tell you again and do it because I did not want you to grow up surrounded in blood and death you had birthday parties and beach parties how many times did you and Simon enjoy a lake house as kids you enjoyed school plays you weren't given weapons as soon as you could walk you got to be a child you got something that almost no shadow hunter ever got including myself that's all I wanted for you and want for you that you never do anything normal anymore not like you used to and scares me" Jocelyn's said,

Clary's stood up and move toward the door " none of that explains to me your problem with Jace! What you think I haven't thought about it? Going to school hanging out with Simon just goofing off no responsibilities going to the movies doing all those things do you really think that I don't miss it? Especially with what happened to Simon recently? Sometimes I wonder what would be like to be a normal schoolgirl again... Sometimes there are things that I want to share with Jace about that part of my life but since he grew up in Idris and with Valentine it's hard for him to comprehend what something's felt like to me. Just as it's hard for me to really know what it felt like to be raised by Valentine. But that doesn't change the fact that no matter how hard you want to deny it and bury your head in the sand I am a shadow hunter and Jace he's a part of me." Clary's said,

Oh, Clary Jocelyn began, you're so young to young... "No! Clary cut Jocelyn off this has absolutely nothing to do with age I didn't say I was going to marry Jace next week look I know that you spent the last 15 or 16 years of my life in denial are trying to shield me or protect me by denying the things that happened or rather that anything happened to me the fact is Jace I are both experiments of Valentine and I'm not saying that that's entirely responsible for my feelings where Jace is concerned because that's not true for what I feel for Jace isn't a child's crush is not a simple infatuation we can understand and help each other in ways that no one else can" not even Alec for Jace or simon for me"Clary that's not true" Jocelyn interrupted Jocelyn, Clary spoke through her teeth " yes it is when Sebastian cut Jace on the battlefield and brothers Zechariah of the silent brothers could not help him without getting burned but I could and and I did."

Walking through the fire in the demon realm flashed in my mind. How I could withstand what no one not even a silent brother have. How I walked to the center of the flames could touch Jace.

How I extracted the holy fire from Jace and put it into the Morgenstern sword. For a split second I thought of explaining that to her so that maybe she would see that there was some kind of tangible connection between Jace and I but at the last second I chose not to, because Jace I had both agreed that that knowledge might be a danger to us. Instead I said " mom there are things you don't know there are things that I can't explain Jace and I we love each other-no wait, we love each other but it's more than that we have some sort of connection probably because of what Valentine did to us may be more maybe not I don't know but everyone sees its Isabel sees it, Alex sees it even Mayrse and Luke see it when Lilith possess Jace she tormented him with nightmares of my death she tried to force him to kill me".

"Oh Clary - see Just like His-"NO I roared no don't you see it took her months of tormenting nightmares of breaking Jace down to get him to bring me to the rooftop" Jocelyn sucks in a breath if I knew he was the one she mumbles-" let me finish.

He fought the whole way even under the influence of the mother of all warlocks he promised no harm would come to me he was gentle and he was kind I can remember the trembling in his body as he fought with a greater daemon was trying to force him to do no one else could have done that no one" Clary continued even though she knew her mother was not gonna like this part.

It had to be said she was hoping maybe Jocelyn would see, if not well and wasn't change what was gonna happen " lilith forced to Jace to bring the me there so she could coerce Simon into reviving Sebastian he held me close even under her influence he said don't worry Clary nothing's going to harm you I can still feel jerks of his body as he fought her influence when she told him to cut my throat" Jocelyn hissed " yes you see he fought and he bucked because even under the influence of the greater demon.

Our connection whatever it is gave him the strength to fight and you weren't there you don't believe me ask Simon it was Jace and our connection that allowed me to slice the rune giving him full physical and mental control again no one else could have fought her influence like that" Clary you don know -Jocelyn began, " yes I do, god mom can't you understand I do know because I felt it. I felt it then, what else do I have to say? You can't make things go away just because you don't like them. Sebastian had Jace under a very powerful spell.

He couldn't even think his own thoughts the things Sebastian forced him to do{Clary shivered } he still can't talk about it all not even to me and yet our connection, the connection we have brought Jace back here to me for me " I know said Jocelyn because he wanted to possess you just like his father..." I lost it then with a cry of frustration I slammed my fist through the wall by the door at this Luke came into the room. "Clary!" They both cried, I pulled my fist out of the wall I didn't even feel the pain or noticed the blood dropping to the floor. As I jerked the door open and found Jace on his knees in front of the door eyes wide full of shock and sorrow.

I was stunned for a moment so I turned back to look and Luke was stepping forward as if to help me. I wave him away " No" I said, looking at Luke " I love you and I love her and I know the you've always tried to be more understanding of Jace and that you wanted to tell me the truth a long time ago. I also know that you probably heard everything I just said." My eyes flicked to Jace he was wearing his blank mask the one that was almost bored but not quite. I could tell whatever he'd heard was troubling him and I knew that my next few sentences were going to up the disccomfort level even more for him.

I also knew that I had to try to make at least one of them understand. if we were ever going to be a family again so I mouthed please forgive me, Jace stared at me no reaction at all this time. I looked directly at Luke " when Jace was missing... When he was with Sebastian he had no free will at all none Sebastian was in control our connection with strong enough to effect Sebastian enough to Allow Jace to convince him to come for me holding up a hand I continued... While he was gone you all said poor Clary, she'll get over Jace but it was like a piece of myself was dying slowly." from behind me I heard Jace breathe "Clary no...are you sure ..." I felt Jace grab my hand from behind. I felt the fine tremors run up my arm from his fingers wrapped around mine. I look back over my shoulder at Jace on his knees holding my hand although the look on his face never changed where Jocelyn and Luke might see it I could feel his fear and reservation I smiled, " SHHH... Trust me." I said, giving his hand a squeeze I seen him mouth "_always_" before turning my eyes back to Luke.

I continued, " He is not Valentine, he did not come here to get me to possess me or keep me he did not come here meaning to harm you or mom. That happen out of sebastian's hatred for mom .Our unexplainable connection brought him here seeking help from the one person who could possibly break him free from Sebastian grip. The things he was forcing Jace to do. I cannot and I will not speak of everything that I know. My being with Jace and our connection kept Sebastian in check somewhat. In the end I had to do something something that neither one of you could do I had to stab the man that I love through the heart... for all intents and purposes, for the second time watch him die this time By my hand and in my arms. I could feel him slipping away "

My voice caught at the memory of those horrable moments._ The feel of the blade as it sliced threw the flesh and into the heart. the look of utter shock ,hurt horror and betrayal that was in his eyes at first. then the fear he tried bravely to mask as he lay in my arms. His warm blood starting to coat my legs and hands. My utter despair desperate plea's for hin to hear me knowing that if he died the only thing that would me living was the fact that killing myself would be failing Jace twice. That I would not do whatever misery came up on me at his death I deserved . _

I heard Jace or Luke or maybe both say "Clary?" I felt Jace sqeeze my hand almost painfully it was enough to snap me out of that memory. My eyes snapped open, I hadn't even realized I had closed them against the pain of the flood of memory I could now feel my body trembling. "_By the angel pull it together Fray." _Giving myself a hard shake along with a very deep breathe I steeled my voice to continue._ "Were _it not for Our connection he wouldn't be here can you understand that now?" I stared steadily Luke and he nodded, as I started to speak again I could feel the Jace had found himself enough to start drawing and healing rune on my hand .

Still looking at Luke since my mother refused to hear me I said, " I know that you set rules that I'm not supposed to stay the institute but after tonight's conversation I see now that she my mother can't see anything passed Her own projections and judgments in that she's not ready to face the truth. I can't be here right now I think it would just make things worse. I love you mom but until you can see that I'm not you and Jace is nothing truly like Valentine. I'm going to be staying at the institute were technically all training shadow hunters are supposed to stay. Before you object I will have my own room in Mayrse is there, she has rules." My mom's eyes flashed. I seen from the corner of my eye as I stared at Luke who just nodded solemnly. Mom step forward but Luke pulled her back murmuring inner ear. I heard her breathe Clary as I stepped past Jace and out onto the porch closing the door.

I leaned back against the door for a few moments. I had sort of forgotten about opening the door to find Jace standing there. until I felt a tentative touch on my shoulder, like it wasn't sure if it's welcome. When I didn't protest a gentle squeeze with my eyes squeezed, shut I let myself be propelled with tears streaming down my face silently into jace's chest. I let myself relax for just a second while he stroked my hair , my back for just a second I let him comfort me until I realized that he was murmuring that he was sorry and that this was all his fault. When I heard those words I became irrationally enraged. I jerked away from him. In the same movement slapped his face so hard that his head rocked back on his shoulders. He stared at me stunned for a split second. Before I could explain why I'd slap him he dropped his head and shrugged as if to say I guess I deserved that.

At that look on his face, any rational thought I had left at the moment was replaced by a fine rage that went through me so hard and fast, that I grabbed jace by the shirt front and threw him off the porch into the yard he was taken by surprise so he landed on his back. I threw myself on top of him I slapped him again and again. He made no move to protect himself which infuriated me even further. finely I collapse on top of him. My face buried in his neck sobbing. Slowy he started stoking my hair,my backrunning his hands down my arms even though I still had him penned the ground with my lower body in the back of my mind I was amazed that Luke hadn't come out to investigate.

" I love you" I said into jace's neck he put his hands on my shoulders and push me back far enough to see my face. His eyes were guarded and weary.

"Oh? So, slapping the shit out of me and throwing me off your porch that was what fore- play?" he asked, with a sarcastic mocking.

"No" I said, while throwing myself off of him a standing up I held down to him. Pulled him to his feet so I could look him in the eyes. "No, that was just me getting really pissed that you.! ... Don't apologize for what just when on in my mother's house ever again. It's not your fault. I don't ever want you thinking that it is. Do you understand me Jace Herondale?!"

He just look at me for a second. Then all of sudden he burst out laughing, picked me up around the waist spun around a circle once then kissed me very soundly on the mouth he broke away with wince. Rubbing the side of his face eyes sparkling. " Damn woman when you got a serious point to make and your pissed you make it don't you ? " I suddenly felt ashamed I leaned up on my tiptoes and gently Kissed his cheek. " I'm so sorry, jace I shouldn't have done that to you. I love you... But just hearing you apologize for that mess... Along with everything else. I don't know I just lost it please forgive me." I said "Shhhhh Clary Love SHHHH from what I heard your under a lot of pressure you just need to release some" jace said " I knowthat, but you didn't deserve that" I said " No don't look at me like that you jace Herondale you do not deserve to be somebody's abusing post no matter what you might think" he laughed again, " my dear," he said while waggling his eye brows " I would rather be abused like that by you any day then to have you go pick fights with werewolves like I've been known to do when I need to blow off steam.

Besides it kind of turned me on" he said eyes flashing gold in the moonlight I just made an exasperated sound grabbed his hand and said " come on we need to get back to the institute before Luke comes out here to see why we're still standing in the yard. Speaking of blowing off steam I wanna grab some weapons when we get there I think I need to kill things tonight" jace's just laughed pulled me into the warm embrace of his arms we started heading as back down the sidewalk toward the institute kissing the top of my head he said with a growl " just when I think there isn't anything else possible you give me another reason the love you."


	2. Chapter 2

**This is My thoughts on what might happen after city of heavenly fire. I have never attempted Fanfiction before myself though I do enjoy it. please excuse any spelling mistakes or punctuation, I will do my best to correct any but it is not my strong suit this story is rated M for coming chapters Please read review send me your thought's input most welcome thanx :) **

**All character copy rights to cassandra Clare thanks for allowing fanfiction ^v^ Ldy J. ^v^**

As Clary close the door behind her there were several Minutes of defining silence then all of a sudden Jocelyn rounded on Luke in a fury ..."What the hell was that Luke ? Why the hell did you let her leave ? Why did you hold me back ?" Luke paused, no stranger to Jocelyn's odd temper especially when it was involving Clary. He knew it would do no good if they both lashed out at one another. He also knew that her anger mainly stemmed from a lack of closeness she no longer shared with Clary.

" what was with her announcing to you that she was going to stay the institute completely against the rules I set? Who do you think you are?" Grinding his teeth against losing his temper Luke says, " wait a minute Jocelyn, first who am I? I'm your husband... And I'm the only father Clary has ever known well really known" Jocelyn's shakes her head " so you think just because we're married for few months that gives you the right to make rules for my daughter?" Luke sucked in breath with an audible Hiss and looked as though Jocelyn had slapped him across face. Realizing what she said, Jocelyn's hand flew mouth. " Luke I'm sorry I didn't mean that, not that way" Luke held up a hand, Jocelyn fell silent she'd never seen a look on his face like that before such a mixture of anger and hurt.

Luke began to speak... Shaking his head " After your last remark I have just a few responses, I was standing here trying to think of the way To respond to your questions. In a way that would not further upset you but I see now, I'm your husband and Clary's father figure only when it suits Jocelyn's purposes."

" Luke that's not true.!" Luke just look to Jocelyn until she subsided and then he continued. "no, let me speak I think I've earned that much. Jocelyn I have loved you for over half my life you are truly the only woman I've ever loved even when you were married to Valentine, we discussed this. You know now you were always the one that was in my heart. I was afraid to tell you that for many years, even so I left the pack, Idris I came here so I could be close to you and Clary. I never told you how I felt, so I never thought I had a right to say anything. I stood by while you've lied to Clary took away her memories took away what she was because you believed it was for her safety well being. I said nothing... Because who was I just a friend right?"

" Luke I..." Jocelyn choked up, Luke continued," I've defended your actions to Clary when you're in a coma. You asked me, why Clary looks to me why I let her go to the institute the simple answer ... I didn't let her we couldn't stop her she's not the same girl that left the house on the way to java Jones that day. That's what she's trying to tell you."

Jocelyn's eyes flashed. " SO... So what, you trying to say is I don't know what's best for my daughter? That I should just let her run off with jace Herondale? I know my daughter we're close we talked I know she wanted more it out of life than this!"

Luke slammed his hand out on the table..." If you love me, if you love your daughter please hear me... When is the last time Clary really confided in you? Before the coma right?"

" Because Jace..." Jocelyn began." Jace saved her life." Luke interrupted. " Apparently, the night before Valentine came for you she and Simon had went pandemonium, where Jace Isabel on Alec just happened to be demon hunting. Naturally Clary didn't react well to the show. Especially when Simon didn't know what she was talking about." Luke chuckled to himself. " jace Isabelle and Alec were dumbfounded that a [Mundi] could see them."

" she never mentioned anything to us" Jocelyn whispered. Luke to stared at Jocelyn until she dropped her eyes to her fidgeting hands on the table. " actually" Luke began " I think she tried to me at least." Jocelyn's eye's shot to Luke's face, he shrugged." I didn't understand at the time. I thought maybe she just seen some fairies again. It was when I was bringing up boxes you'd said you had trouble finding parking. Clary asked me if I seen something no one else could see what would I do? I had no idea she meant a demon hunt and three shadow hunters. And then you and she got in an argument about [vacation] I knew you were planning to take her to Bane again. So I didn't think anything else of it not to mention the fact as you know I wasn't happy that day myself."

Jocelyn look steadly at Luke so even then Clary opened up more to you then me. Jocelyn's said with despair... Luke just looked at her and continued, " at some point Jace and the others told Hodge about the girl that could mysteriously see them killing a demon in pandemonium. so he sent jace to bring Clary to the institute to so he could see how this was possible. Clary got your phone call while jace was trying to convince Clary to return to the institute with him."

"So he's the one that brought her back here and endanger her" began Jocelyn.

" no!" Luke snapped " by the angel woman when you get stuck on something you won't let it go! Now I see where your daughter gets it" Luke laughed in spite of himself. Jocelyn look confused " but I told her not to come home to go to simon's to call you" Jocelyn's protested "God Jocie you really do underestimate your daughter. You call her on the phone she hears banging and breaking and yelling in the background she can tell you're scared. You think she's gonna go anywhere but home?" Jocelyn's shoulder fell and she shook her head.

Luke went on, " no not the daughter of Joycelyn Fairchild and Valentine Morgenstern" Jocelyn flinched at the use of her true name and Valentines Luke ignored previous attitude of Clary is my daughter and hurt his feelings enough that he was being just a little bit petty. " No YOUR daughter having accidentally dropped her own phone when you hung up. Clary snatches Jace's sensor from his pocket thinking it's a cell phone she takes off to home. Leaving jace behind in the alley by java Jones."

" wait!" Jocelyn gasped " no one told me she returned to the apartment alone!" Luke only nodded " Of course she did, she was worried about her mother." Jocelyn's hand went to her mouth, her eyes wide." Never really having seen a demon or being told of their existence except for the one that she tried to convince herself, she didn't see her words not Mine in pandemonium." Luke cleared his throat Our dau-Clary walks in and finds herself face to face with a ravener demon somehow she manages with no training" Luke put extra emphasis on the** no **and** training**." She somehow evades the damn thing long enough to shove jace's sensor down its throat. Yes, I said down its throat by the time jace was able to figure out where Clary had gone and follow her from java Jones however he did it. When he found Clary she had acid burns from the demon blood up and down her arms as well as a venomous bite on the back of her neck. He said he was amazed because she was still holding the thing off of her when he walked in though it was wounded substantially he said if he had not gotten her to the institute within the hour she would've been dead."

jocelyn's sat there for a minute not saying a word. Luke Then got up from the table went into their bedroom grab an overnight bag threw some clothes in it not even really paying attention to what he was grabbing . He went to the bathroom and grabbed toiletries for a couple of nights. He stopped and looked in itself in the mirror took a deep breath. With a nod to himself. Luke walked back out toward the door. As he passed Jocelyn on his way.

She said, "Luke where you going? What's the bag for?" Luke turned on his heel and looked at Joycelyn with such pain in his eyes. " Jocie, you first asked me tonight why I let Clary go to the institute. I let her go, because I agreed with her that staying here right now with the way things are wasn't gonna help anybody." "Are you saying you feel the same way?" Jocelyn asked,

Luke take a deep breath " honestly Jocie I don't know, I didn't start out tonight wanting to take sides or fight with you. But I've seen things that you haven't. The girl the thought was my daughter when we married that's felt like my daughter for 10 years and yet even though it went against every fiber in my being I stood by and let you do as you would supported you when you lied to her because that's what you wanted. Then you come along and say let's get married and be a family are real family Clary's says she considers me her father and you agreed."

"Luke you are her father or as much one as she's ever had" Jocelyn said

" yeah, I am until something like this comes up? Then she's all yours and I have no say. You resent the fact that she talks to me. Do you ever stop and wonder why? We are married were supposed to be a family I waited a long time for a chance to be a real family with you and Clary that means 50/50 all the time not just when it suits you. Jocie, I love you and Clary both more than life itself I challenged a pack master for no reason just to get enough people to help me protect you and Clary and a lot of those people were killed. The most important thing to me at the time, you and Clary I don't know if I can live from now on like this. Not getting a say in what happens with MY daughter because that's what she is in my heart that's what she has been from the first time laid eyes on her... I'll be back in a few days I need time to think, to clear my head."

Jocelyn stepped forward, hand out reaching for Luke. He just shook his head turned back around open the door and in a slight cracked and hoarse voice said. "_ I love you Joycelyn Fray, now and when my bones lie with a silent brothers I will love you this is my vow." _It was an old shadow hunters vow to there beloved it didn't apply to him now that he was a wolf but Jocelyn would understand his meaning. With that Luke step down on the porch closing the door. At the sound of Luke's truck engine starting jocelyn sank to her knees sobbing. It felt like someone was driving a knife through the heart and her chest she just couldn't understand how things and I like this.


	3. Chapter 3

**This is My thoughts on what might happen after city of heavenly fire. I have never attempted Fanfiction before myself though I do enjoy it. please excuse any spelling mistakes or puctuation, I will do my best to correct any but it is not my strong suit this story is rated M for coming chapters. Please read review send me your thought's input most welcome thanx :) All character rights to Cassandra Clare thanx for allowing Fanfiction ^v^ Ldy J. ^v^ Flash back all rights to Cassandra clare no offense intended**

Jace and Clary had walked back to the institute mostly in silence one arm casually slung around the other as they walked. They'd each been very subdued on their way back Clary going over the argument with her mother one thing is there was something else she could,should have said. Jace going over what he heard through the door in his head. He'd heard Clary's say that she missed parts of her mundane life though couldn't understand this, obviously was true and somewhere in his mind it made him uneasy. What if Clary decided to give in to her mother. What if she stopped shadow hunting and did exactly what her mother want her to do. Part of Him knew that was impossible for Clary. However, the insecure part of him the part that we're still trying to get used to having someone to love and be loved by. That part keeps nagging..._ " you know she's never going to choose you not over her mother _why would she? _A nobody, _emotionally_ inexperienced, come on you've been up and down like a roller coaster if she does choose you she's going to end up resenting you." _

_Jace _knew that these thought's were ridiculous he knew the down to his toes that Clary loved him as deeply as he loved her he knew that in his heart. But after hearing Clary's response to Jocelyn he had questions he desperately longed to ask Clary though now wasn't a time. Her words kept playing his mind.

"""" _What you think I haven't thought about it? Going to school hanging out with Simon just goofing off no responsibilities going to the movies doing all those things do you really think that I don't miss it? Especially with what happened to Simon recently? Sometimes I wonder what would be like to be a normal schoolgirl again... Sometimes there are things that I want to share with Jace about that part of my life but since he grew up in Idris and with Valentine it's hard for him to comprehend what something's felt like to me. Just as it's hard for me to really know what it felt like to be raised by Valentine. """ _

At first jace couldn't understand why those words seemed a replay in his head and bother him so much. Then all of a sudden it dawned on him. Jace jerk to a stop on the top step before the closed doors of the institute. Jace turn to Clary she looked up at him expectantly " jace what is it?" Clary could tell by the look on Jace's face that something was bothering him a lot suddenly. She could only imagine it has something to do with the conversation at her mother's house. He looked at her for a few moments as if trying to figure out how to answer.

He reached out, taking both her hands in his. She could feel his hands trembling. " Clary I... When I was on the porch..." He broke off Jace shook his head violently " never mind you don't need this from me right now" Clary took her hands from his and place them on either side of his neck so she could cup his face in both her hands. Lightly stroking his face she made him meet her eyes. Just then the door to the institute flew open. There stood Isabel looking decidedly unhappy. " by the angel do the two of you never use your room?" Isabel complained loudly. " impeccable timing as always dear sister," jace remarked " like clockwork" Clary grumbled with a laugh. Isabel looked back and forth between them scowling at the shine in Jace's eyes.

" I don't get it what is so amusing?" Jace just shook his head " what's got you in such a lovely mood tonight Isabel?" Jace asked slightly sarcastically " Lets see I've only been waiting three months to go on a special date with Simon you know because we were taking it slow because of his memory thing. finally he feels comfortable enough well actually we both do now that is, he goes and makes a special date is supposed to be a surprise all I know is it has something to do with reservations that are hard to get and now all of a sudden I have to go patrol the park tonight ! It just has to be tonight like one more night's gonna matter!" Isabel exclaimed ! Then she looked down at herself " look I'm so upset I was about to leave without my weapons! can you believe that?" On that note isabel spun on her heel and stomped off for the weapons room. Clary's shook her head with a giggle turning to jace "that's Isabel for you, silly demons interrupting her love life I feel sorry for them almost." Clary said she heard Jace snort. As Clary looked at him his face fell into serious sad lines again.

This time Clary grabbed a fistful of Jace's shirt pulling him to her with a quick jerk she smashed her mouth to his with kissing ferociously almost painfully forcing his lips apart using her tongue to explore his mouth with a dominance that she had never quite shown before. Taken by surprise Clary didn't quite get the response from Jace she'd expected so with one hand she twined her fingers in his hair and giving it a tug. At this he shuddered, She slipped her other hand underneath his shirt and jacket so that her cool fingers ran up along his spine at the touch of her skin and and fingernails running up and down spine jace moaned softly into her mouth. At this sound Clary's gently pulled her hands free from under Jace's jacket. Gently but firmly tugging on his bottom lip with her teeth she released him.

Looking up into his face now from just inches away she could see he definitely wasn't sad anymore at this moment his eyes were glowing a deep dark gold that she had come to associate with desire and lust she was beginning to suspect that she was the only one who saw his eyes that color. she smiled a little wickedly at the thought that she and she alone had ever seen his eyes like that. At the look on her face jace made a sound low in his throat Clary could've swore was a growl. He made as if to pull her to him and continue what she started with a giggle Clary placed her hand on his mouth and said " easy angel boy we have weapons to grab and demons to kill"

Jace a shaky breath and with a laugh he said " by an angel Clary it's not the demons it's you you're going to kill me tonight." Still grinning wickedly Clary shrugged " I didn't like the look you had on your face before. This one I like." " well then, maybe I should look sad more often" jace joked " jace I know there are things that we need to talk about. I'm unusually the one bitching in and complaining about sharing and talking about our feelings I can feel that something that was said at my mother's tonight is bothering you. I want very much to discuss everything with you. I do. But right now at this moment I would ask that you just believe me when I say that no matter what I love you and I will always love you. "I know"Clary said with a strange little look in her eye's."After I my fits about you shutting me out this is not fair ... right now I'm REALLLLY need to kick somethings ass OK jace? I swear that we will discuss all that was said I want to know what you feel as well I just need a break from talking..."

"UMMMM...ok but what if it doesn't have an ass ?" Jace asked in his usual jace manner.

I rolled my eyes grabbing Jace's hand and pulling him with me toward the weapons room I said " let's go get armed and tell Isabelle that she doesn't have to miss her date tonight"

"Shouldn't Isabelle come with us?" Jace asked

" I think after everything we fought and won. I don't know I think that we can handle a simple patrol tonight. Don't you" ask Clary.

" Your right. you, the park at night possibly getting to kill demons what more could a guy ask for? " Said Jace.

when they reached the weapons room they found Isabell she was placing various weapons in sheaths hidden along her body Clary's, surprising because usually Isabell didn't need anything more than electrum whip. Clary had always envied the fact that Isabell always seemed to have the right weapon when needed. She supposed this was due to collecting weapons over the years of training that she herself did not have. For Isabell to be arming with this many weapons when she was going on "a routine patrol" meant that she was in a very bad mood angel help anyone who crossed Isabell this night Clary's thought.

" you're going on routine patrol Izzy not a full on battle" jace said with a laugh.

Isabell looked up from what she was doing. " look who's talking this isn't even half of what you carry every day, besides who knows what a girl might find out there nowadays aren't you the one that always says you can never be to well armed." Jace's just shrugged " yes but even I think all that is a bit much for a date with Simon" jace said Isabell looked annoyed " did you not hear what I said I don't have a date because I have to be on patrol." Clary broke in with an exasperated sound " I don't know why he likes to tease you so much Izzy. We were thinking that Jace I would take your patrol Clary's said with a smile that way you can keep your date."

Isabel's face lit up at first and then fell " Wait, it doesn't matter jace you know the rules you can't patrol by yourself Alec was supposed to meet me he's coming from magnus's he already has his weapons and equipment there. Though we were supposed to be meeting to go on a double date something cooked up by magnus and Simon apparently they've gotten pretty chummy recently scary thought that. Instead Alec and I were summoned for patrol neither magnus or Simon is very happy right now but I guess that's what they get for loving shadow hunters huh?"

" Jace isn't going to be going out alone" Clary said in a tone of voice that sent a Isabell that she was surprised to have to state the obvious. Isabell shot a look to Jace he just shrugged " she's had a bad night Izzy she and Jocelyn had a... disagreement Clary's going to be staying at the institute for a while." Isabell grumbled "I bet I can guess why" Jace shook his head " I'm sure she'll tell you all about it later. Right now, she just wants to do something to take her mind off things." Was it Clary's imagination or when Jace said I'm sure she'll tell you all about it later did he sound just a little bitter? Nah, I'm probably reading more into it . " I can understand that really I can" Isabell said giving Jace a hard look. Clary look back and forth between the two knowing she's missing something.

" OK somebody tell me what the problem is? I go out on patrol with Jace you keep your date with Simon and I'll see what the problem is?" Clary said. " there really isn't one... Not really. Jace said looking intently and Isabell. " Jace!" Isabell hissed " well it's a way for you to keep your date Izzy while Clary and I get to spend some quality time together." Jace said with grin. Isabell snorted " if she considers the demon patrolling quality time then two really are made for each other. But that doesn't change the rules Jace." Clary had had enough " OK somebody explain right now" she said looking between the both of them.

Isabell turned to Clary " Clary only shadow hunters are allowed to patrol." Isabell began slowly. " I know" began Clary-

Isabell continued. " You're not a full shadow hunter you haven't had half the training or passed the tests mainly because you're supposed to have years more training before you take the tests when you pass the tests the end you were given full shadow hunter status no matter if you're an adult or not as is the case with Alec myself and Jace especially Jace"she said with a smile "He of course got his status first he was one of the youngest to ever be granted full status myself and Alec were next because we couldn't be outdone. That is the only reason we're allowed to patrol you seen what happens when it comes to battles even though we're skilled most won't let us fight because of our age. As most shadow hunters may have to fight to defend themselves occasionally not many earn full status before the clave until an adult. And you Clary as far as most are concerned haven't had nearly enough training to even be considered"

Clary turn Jace " UMMMM you didn't think this little bit of information needed mentioning and take it?" Jace shrugged " not really" Clary took a deep breath desided to count to 10 before exploding on Jace beside her she sensed that Isabell was probably doing the same. Letting the breath out slowly she said, " which you mind explaining the logic behind that statement?" " well" Jace began, glancing and Isabell " first for the record I don't know why Izzy is bringing this up now we're trying to help her out. It's not like anyone has to know that you and I are going out instead of her and Alec secondly those rules were made to protect the safety of your average normal shadow hunter. Which might beautiful Clary you and I are definitely not. From day one this was apparent at least in your case with absolutely no training you kill the ravager with just a little bite when I've seen them take out seasoned shadow hunters. You can create angel runes. With absolutely no training I seen you bring seraph blade to blaze fourth. No other average shadow hunter could accomplish what you have in the amount of time and with the training you have." Jace's eye's settled on Isabelle" so no I'm not concerned about a little patrol" Jace it's one thing with Alec and I they're in case things go wrong" Isabell begin " and I've seen her flight a little she's not bad but she doesn't have the training that Alex and I what if there are multiple attackers we won't be there to help if anything should happen to either of you"-Jace cut her off his eyes as they fall on Clary going cold and hard " Isabell!" He snapped " I love Clary if I didn't think she could handle herself I wouldn't be offering to take her" Clary didn't know how but was almost 100% certain what was running through Jace's mine is a moment just from a hard look on his face and the set of his jaw. Mirek's shop ... When Clary finely understood battle lust... How terrifying and exhilarating it felt_..._

_{{As the serpent's head drove down toward Clary, a shining blur slashed across it, almost blinding her. A seraph blade, its shimmering knife edge slicing the demon's head cleanly off. The head crumpled, spraying venom and ichor; Clary rolled to one side, but some of the toxic substance splattered onto her torso. The demon vanished before its two halves could strike the floor. Clary bit down on her cry of pain and moved to get to her feet. A hand was suddenly thrust into her field of vision—an offer to pull her to her feet. Jace, she thought, but as she looked up, she realized she was staring at her brother. "Come on," said Sebastian, his hand still out. "There are more of them." She grabbed his hand and let him lift her to her feet. He was splattered with demon blood too—blackish-green stuff that burned where it touched, leaving scorched patches on his clothing. As she stared at him, one of the snake-headed things—Elapid demons, she realized belatedly, remembering an illustration in a book—reared up behind him, its neck flattening out like a cobra's. Without thinking, Clary grabbed his shoulder and shoved him out of the way, hard; he staggered back as the demon struck, and Clary rose to meet it with the dagger she had yanked from her belt. She turned her body aside as she drove the dagger home, avoiding the creature's fangs; its hiss turned to a gurgle as the blade sankin and she dragged it down, gutting the creature open the way someone might gut a fish. Burning demon blood exploded over her hand in a hot torrent. She screamed but kept her grip on the dagger as the Elapid winked out of existence. She whirled around. Sebastian was fighting another of the Elapids by the door of the shop; Jace was fending off two next to a display of antique ceramics. Shards of pottery littered the floor. Clary swung her arm back and threw the dagger, as Jace had taught her to. It soared through the air and struck one of the creatures in the side, sending it jittering and squeaking away from Jace. Jace whirled around and, seeing her, winked before reaching up to scissor off the head of the remaining Elapid demon. Its body collapsed as it vanished and Jace, splattered in black blood, grinned. A surge of something went through Clary—a sense of buzzing elation. Both Jace and Isabelle had spoken to her of the high of battle, but she'd never really experienced it before. Now she did. She felt all-powerful, her veins humming, strength uncoiling from the base of her spine. Everything seemed to have slowed down around her. She watched as the injured Elapid demon spun and turned on her, racing toward her on its insectile feet, lips already curling back from its fangs. She stepped back, yanked the antique flag from its mounting place on the wall, and slammed the end of it into the Elapid's open, gaping mouth. The pole punched out through the back of the creature's skull, and the Elapid disappeared, taking the flag with it. Clary laughed out loud. Sebastian, who had just finished off another demon, swung around at the noise, and his eyes widened. "Clary! Stop him!" he shouted, and she spun around to see Mirek, his hands fumbling at a door set into the back of the shop. She broke into a run, yanking the seraph blade from her belt as she went. "Nakir!" she cried, vaulting up onto the counter, and she flung herself from the top of it as her weapon exploded into brightness. She landed on the Vetis demon, knocking him to the ground. One of his eel-like arms snapped at her, and she sliced it off with a sawing motion of her blade. More black blood sprayed. The demon looked at her with red, frightened eyes. "Stop," he wheezed. "I could give you whatever you want—""I have everything I want," she whispered, and drove her seraph blade down. It plunged into the demon's chest, and Mirek disappeared with a hollow cry. Clary thumped to her knees on the carpet.}}_

Clary was snapped out of her memory by the sound of isabel's voice. " Clary earth to Clary Clary are you OK?" " Ummmm yea I'm fine . What were you saying? I've killed more than one daemon at a time before" Clary replied mechanically she was looking fixedly at Jace. " sure you're OK yeah right" Isabell said sarcastically her gaze sweeping back between both Clary and Jace she knew something was passing between them something big and painful but she had no clue as to what. " well if you're so OK then why their tears running down your face?"

" what? huh?" Clary reached up and touch her own cheeks as if just now noticing she hastily wiped away the tears. Looking at Isabell she said " it's nothing just a really bad night don't worry Izzy I can handle more than one demon if I have to I promise." Clary said with a laugh. Isabell was debating whether not to push for answers about what had just happen over the last few minutes but before she could Jace, all amusement gone from his body language and expression came forward and dropped his knees in front of Clary he reached out as if to touch her and then let his hand drop. He looked up at her she could see the tears about to fall from his eyes she could hear the barely held back sobs in his voice as he said " I'm sorry Clary I'm so sorry how did you ever forgive me how are you here with me?" Clary heard Isabell sharp intake of breath her face was as white is sheet Clary thought she'd probably never seen this kind of emotion in Jace judging by the look on her face.

Clary reached out and pulled Jace to her he wrapped his arms around her waist with him on his knees she bent down to kiss the top of his head. " Shhhh Jace's that's enough I told you no more Sorry's no more apologizing for things that are not your fault." Clary's gaze shot to Isabell she could tell Isabell was dying to ask questions Clary to shook her head slightly. Giving Isabell look that clearly said " later". " you wouldn't have been there if it weren't for me "Jace mumbled into her chest. " for the love of the angel" Isabell exclaimed " if you want to take Clary on patrol be my guest but if you get injured or dead you have to deal with mom OK?"

At that, Jace got to his feet with a shaky laugh." I knew if I tried hard enough I would find a way to get you to agree Izzy I always knew you were secretly softhearted" Jace said passing his hand over his face while grinning . So Clary thought that's how he's going to play this like the whole little loss of control just then was nothing but a ploy to get Isabell to see things his way. Clary wandered absently if Isabell knew just how much of what she saw just now was a real pain. Isabell looked it Clary " well come here " she demanded " if I'm going to get my ass chewed for this I might as well make sure you're properly marked and dressed she said the word dressed with much asperity " what am I going to do with you?" Isabell asked eyeing what Clary was wearing. Jace groaned. Isabell shot him an evil look" shut up" she said.

By the time Isabell was done I think I might have actually had on more weapons than Jace if not then pretty close. Had the usual black leather fighting gear plus a double sheath down my back that Isabell insisted I barrow for dual Seraph blades at my back a knife on each shoulder, forearm, thigh and calf makes Clary's snapped on a weapons belt with yet another set of Seraph blades along with a set of runed throwing knives. " Isabell im going on patrol not war are you sure all this is necessary?" Isabell just rolled her eyes... " this is you and Jace going out together to hunt I'm taking no chances" as she said the last Isabell was deftly fixing Clary's hair into a complex half ponytail braid which she artfully wound up with some combs that looked suspiciously silver and sharp as she eyed them Isabell winked and said. " just because we're shadow hunters does not mean that we shouldn't accessorize and be practical." Showing Clary the last comb before placing it she said " since you're so good at throwing knives I thought you would appreciate these if you like them you can keep them call it a thank you for saving my date."

" but I thought" Clary began " That I didn't want you to go? I never said that it's just against the rules that's all and technically I never want any of us to go" Isabell said with a sad smile. " now come on let's go look at yourself" she said dragging Clary over to the nearest mirror normally used for training purposes so that you can keep an eye on your form. When Clary got a look at herself in the mirror she let out an involuntary gasped Isabell standing behind her said what's wrong " you don't like the hair I didn't put it all up because I know you'll just let Jace tear it down again" Clary was quiet for a minute looking at her reflection in the mirror she was reminded the Isabell at pandemonium when she first saw her. Not of herself that she couldn't explain that to Isabell so she just shook her head " it's great" " what's great Jace?" asked he picked that moment to come back into the room after having gotten bored watching Isabell dress up session. " her hair she says her hair is great" Isabell said moving away so Jace could come up behind Clary. " but that look on her face I don't understand I'm out of here before mom catches us and makes me stay because I'm already late" said Isabel up her hands and leaving the room. Jace behind her slid his arms around her waist, his chin on her shoulder he got a look at the front of her reflected in the mirror. Their eyes met Clary's seen his spark and heard his sharp intake of breath. His breath fell hot on her ear as he said

" what's wrong love, you looked dangerously stunning maybe even better than myself maybe"

" I look like a shadow hunter..."

Jace just stared at her for a moment " well of course you do. What else would you look like a werewolf?"

Clary started answer, but thought better of it because she really just wanted to kick some things ass. She just shook her head " we can talk about it later isabel's right if were going we need to go now"

"Ok we can go but before we do since Alec's not here when you check the marks on my back make sure they don't need touched up?" Clary eyed him dubiously " are you sure you're not just trying to distract me with an excuse to take your clothes off" she asked with a laugh.

" as lovely as an idea that is no... As parabati Alec usually takes care of it and I his because ... Letting someone mark your back requires a great deal of trust at least it does for me... Until recently Alec with the exception of Valentine a few times and was the only person to ever mark my back before a fight. " what about Isabell?

" no just Alec"

" but you let me and you want me to do it now." Clay said quiet voice Jace just looked at her holding out his stele. She waved it away. I have my own take your shirt off and turnaround.

_"_ yes ma'am" Clary pulled a stool over to them a short one use to reach high shelves " sit down please it will make it easier to reach. Jace sat on the stool and Clary pulling out her stele placed one hand on Jace's upper shoulder for balance and she began to go over marks memories of marking sebastian's back flooded into her mind she couldn't help but notice how smooth the skin of Jace's back was compared to the demon metal whip scars of sebastian's and she wandered not for the first time if Valentine had ever done anything like that to Jace she prayed to the angel not but if so why use demon metal on one boy and not the other?. Just as she was finishing Jace placed his hand over hers on his shoulder. She jerked her hand away with the start. " they're all finished" she said a little breathly walking around Jace putting her stele away. " Clary?" " it's nothing c'mon let's go" she said not meeting his eyes. " No no you pulling away from me in fear is not nothing" Jace waited for an answer Clary's eyes shot to his for a second. " it wasn't you.. I was just remembering... Jace?"

" remembering what love?" Clary's thought for a second. She almost asked "_ Did Valentine beat you like an animal to" _instead she said "did you ever see sebastian's back?" She watched Jace's face as she said it she seen his eyes harden his whole body tensed. In that moment she realized she had the answer to both questions. " I have" he said slowly as if he were waiting for her to ask something else. " when did you see it?" He asked rather coldly " at the apartment he asked me to mark him and I did" this time it was Jace who couldn't meet Clary's eyes " did he... Did he explain?" Jace looked up then she met his eyes " yes he did..." clary followed his gaze down to his hands where they started to tremble. Walking over to him she put her fingers under his chin and force his head up looking him directly in the eyes for a few minutes then she said " your marks are done how about we finally go kill something so they're not wasted?" With a laugh he stood up tucking her under his arm they started for the front door of the institute. When Jace stopped turning to look at her he asked " do you have a string tied to you're stele Clary Fray?"

" no I have a retractable belt leash that is normally used so you don't lose your car keys or security guards use them for door keys in such I decided to try one on my stele I'm tired of losing them" he laughed out loud " only you Fray let's go if we can still get out without Mayrse Catching us ."

**I promise to get to the good stuff next chapter they will fight something :) !**


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